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Your Mind Vs. Your Heart: Which Should be Listened to?




     Today, I came across a post shared by a well respected man, Trent Shelton. If you do not know who Trent Shelton is, I highly suggest you search for him on YouTube or Facebook. His messages are uplifting, real, and will keep you holding strong during life's struggles. I personally, really enjoy his messages. However, today was a little different. Today, I read a post that he shared on Facebook which stated that we should listen to our minds, not our hearts. This perplexed me....and this is why....


     It is my belief that we have both one heart and one mind for a reason. To not consider the advice that both give us and to only ever listen to one is like neglecting one side of the story when making a decision. The messages that one (your heart or brain) may give you may not be 100% wise, accurate, or smart. True, only listening to one's heart can be dangerous, risky, and destructive; leading to hurt, pain, and loss. However, only listening to your mind can be just as dangerous. Here's why...


     Consider for an example that you have gotten into an argument with your significant other. He or she has done something for a while that is very upsetting to you. You love this person, but realize you cannot deal with this any longer. Instead of communicating with your partner about your heart-given feelings you shut off your heart, and focus on protecting yourself from further hurt by relaying your side without considering their side. You try to persuade them to your way of thinking without considering their way of thinking. Or it can be even worse than that. In doing so, you can take "standing up for yourself" way too far when communicating to this person and act destructively.

      The fact is that a relationship can only be had if it involves two people. When you shut off your heart from a person it can be difficult to maintain this balance in your relationship. The danger to only thinking with your mind is that it may prevent you from forgiving, working through your troubles, and growing as a couple. It can keep you from remembering that you love this person even if he or she may frustrate the heck out of you. No one is perfect. We all have our flaws and must understand that.

       What is the solution then in the ever present battle of mind vs. heart? Balance is key. Listening to both your mind and your heart can give you a fuller picture of a situation. If these are out of balance you may find yourself unhappy in the situation even more. Give both a good listening to and then decide which you may need to listen to more, depending on the situation. For example, if your partner is cheating on you repeatedly and has no TRUE desire or ability to change this (actions speak louder than words: what are his/her actions telling you?), then you may need to focus more on what your mind is telling you (ex: to leave) than your heart (which may make you question this, because you love that person and want to believe he/she will change). Some people are more prone to think with one over the other, and therein lies the danger.

     Now PLEASE understand me when I give this advice....it largely depends on what is going on in your relationship. Abuse should never be tolerated!! If your partner is cheating and you cannot deal with it then not working it out is your choice. What I am specifically talking about is arguments that do not pertain to abuse or cheating. Why I did not agree with Trent Shelton's post about listening to the mind and not your heart is, because he did not clarify cases where this is not wise to do. This is dangerous, because it is generalized advice that people may take even if it is not appropriate for their situation. While telling your audience to protect and respect themselves, they may fail to understand how to do this appropriately, in a non destructive way that does not damage a repairable relationship or individuals.
     

    

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