Infidelity. The very word can cause people to feel a whole host of
emotions. It is one of the most difficult things a marriage can go through.
Most couples are not able to look past infidelity, but for some they learn to
embrace the roller coaster ride of healing and forgiveness and are rewarded for
their efforts.
The process, if done successfully, can yield fruitful results. The couple
can become stronger than they ever were before. However, it is not an easy,
quick process. It will require a lot of commitment and work. Is this something
you are ready to do? If not, then chances of success are slim.
Ensuring that both people involved are 100% committed to the
relationship is essential. After all, without this commitment infidelity is
likely to reoccur. Both people have to want it and be willing to do the work
necessary to fight for it. No successful marriage, or relationship for that
matter, is healthy and happy without having to continually work for it 24/7,
365 days a year.
What do I mean by work? In order to establish a healthy relationship
with one another the couple must understand their goals. Their primary goal is
the success of the relationship, while their secondary goals are the skills
necessary for both individuals to learn to help them reach their primary goal.
This can include, learning effective communication skills, increasing intimacy,
establishing healthy boundaries, having a no secret’s policy, establishing
relationship rules, learning to value one another in actions and in words, working
towards forgiveness, etc.
Needless to say, infidelity is touchy ground. It can be a very messy
process, especially for those who do not keep their primary goal central in
their minds and in their hearts. It can be quite a challenging task to accomplish
on your own.
So, what is my point in writing about this? Well, I am in the process of
writing a self-help book, which can be incorporated into a rehabilitation
program for couples struggling through infidelity or used independently at
home. It is my goal to encourage the formation of rehabilitation centers
nationwide that specifically help couples with sex addiction and infidelity in
a hope-filled environment, as I truly believe that professionals can help hold
the couple accountable and keep them on task during the process. However, I
want the book to also be useful for couples who would prefer to work on their
marriage independently and to encourage couples that with the right amount of
work and commitment, divorce doesn’t have to be the next step.
As much as some people would love to deny it, infidelity is actually
quite common and if rehabilitation centers like this existed, perhaps there would
be a lot less divorce, single parent homes, and traumatic childhood experiences
affecting our population in the United States.
Tell me your thoughts…
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